When boys become men we call them ‘men’ or ‘guys’ or ‘blokes’ or ‘dudes’. The most common casual word for ‘men’ is ‘guys’. We don’t have any similar casual word to use for women. So instead we use “girls”. [I have heard one person say the word “gals” serves this purpose: however this word is obviously taken off of the child word “girls” so it is still connecting women with girls. It is also an exclusively American word, we don’t use it where I live.]
Why are women still called “girls” after we grow up?
Females are not supposed to mature. We are more valuable in this society (to men) if we stay young, and sexy/attractive. We are supposed to be a bit sillier, too. Not as intelligent as our husbands, and not as serious. We can (and should) spend a good amount of time making ourselves look “cute” and sexy (for the men). We wear clothes that make us look smaller, we sit “smaller” than men (legs together/crossed), and we generally try to make ourselves look slimmer/littler/petite. Like a girl. So we look good to guys. In contrast, boys are encouraged to “man-up” and become a man quickly, it is good for them to mature. They aren’t supposed to continue looking like boys, if they do they will be effeminate men, who are ‘less’ than real men.
“Girls” is demeaning to women:
Calling us “girls” makes many women feel patronized, demeaned, belittled infantilized, talked down to and less respected.
Other belittling terms for women include “chick”, “babe”, “baby” (“babe”/”baby” may not always be belittling, but it can be belittling if a man uses it for his girlfriend but she does not use it for him).
The sex industry almost always calls it’s female workers “girls” (partly because this is considered ‘sexier’ than ‘woman’). The word “Ladies” is sexy too. Using the word “ladies” would show that the sex worker women are adults, and that they should be respected (not belittled). I think the sex industry likes the term ‘girls’ over ‘ladies’ because it implies a hierarchy where the johns are more important than the women who serve them, they are ‘Kings’ for a while, and their needs are more important than the needs of the women. The sex industry thrives off the need for these men to feel important/valuable. That it has to do this by demeaning/belittling women, however, is very disturbing.
Alternatives to the word “Girl”:
1. The word “lady” used to be used for only upper class white women – and today is still used more for white, well-off women than for non-white or poor women, I think. So using the word “ladies” to refer to all women may be problematic.
2. The word “woman” may be better. The only ‘problem’ with this word is that it is considered sexless, unsexy, boring, prudish, old, plain, and ugly. The word “girl” is seen as sexy. It is creepy to me that “girl” is considered sexy when “woman” is not (a ‘woman’ is considered ‘too old’ to be sexy. This is part of the beauty myth). ‘Woman’ should be considered sexy, not ‘girl’. We need to help change this definition of ‘woman’ so that it can include attractive and sexy.
Tags: alternatives to the word girl, attractive and sexy, babe, baby, beauty myth, calling women 'girls', chick, chicks, cute, demeaning, gals, girl is belittling, girls are sexy, hierarchy, patronizing, plain and ugly, porn star girls, sex industry girls, sexless, the word 'lady', the word 'woman', the word girl, unsexy, woman sounds old, women are not girls, women aren't sexy
